September 16th, 1996

El Molinito, Naucalpan de Juarez, Edo. de Mexico

So, for my first Mexican Independence Day in Mexico*, back when I was a missionary, we spent the morning at a military parade downtown and that evening at a party some members of our ward hosted (relax, if you're keeping score, it was a preparation day). My companion and I and the two other missionaries we shared our apartment with got a ride home from the party from a married couple that cooked the other two missionaries' meals. Their car was like a suburban, but without rear windows or seats in the back, so the four of us just bounced around on the floor or the wheel well dents, looking over the backs of the front seats out the windshield. The party had been outside the busy part of El Molinito, the mini-city nestled against Mexico City where we worked, and there was just a little two lane road leading back into town.

The whole way back into town our driver was playing this traffic game against another family that had been at the party where he'd cut off their station wagon and not let them pass us and then, if they passed us, they'd keep us from passing them and block us on the shoulder and stuff...as a passenger, it definitely felt a little crazy, but our driver and his wife were cheering and laughing and the other car would wave and honk happily at us when they passed us or we passed them. But at some point another car got between us, a little VW Rabbit or something like that, but our driver kept the game going with this stranger and would block the little car from passing us on the left or the right and would stop short at stop lights or race through them or whatever, just tormenting this unwitting third party.

The game continued as we reached the crowded streets of Molinito proper, and I mean our driver was just merciless. From his elephant of a car he would not give this little Rabbit an inch, all the time laughing as his wife clapped. As entertaining as it was to be in the winning vehicle, I couldn't help but wonder where the cops were in this town...and then I remembered, oh yeah, our driver WAS a cop.

Passing through the middle of El Molinito, we came to a hill where the road widened from two opposing lanes of traffic to four lanes of one way traffic (our apartment was just past a pedestrian bridge at the top of this hill) and here our truck didn't stand a chance against the Rabbit. It moved over two lanes from us (meaning we were in a lane, then there was an empty lane, and then the lane that the Rabbit was in) and suddenly our driver got shouty. He pushed his wife from her seat back into the wayback with us and I watched that zippy little Rabbit catch up to us and then, my eyes not believing what they saw, but taking it in as very real and very much happening, he crossed his right hand out the window across his left hand on the wheel, revealing the glint of a firearm, and there were two flashes and two "pop pops"--sounding nothing like the bang bangs of guns on TV and that's how I knew this was for real--and then zipped off at an acceleration our truck couldn't match.

At first our driver slammed down on the gas with intentions of pursuing the Rabbit, but by the time we were at the top of the hill he seemed to have changed his mind (I need to add here: At this point I've been living in Mexico for roughly a month and my Spanish is nearly non-functional. Basically, I can read signs and put together a few sentences but I can hardly understand anything anyone ever says, and I'm in a car full of native, non-English speaking Mexicans, so the only thing I definitely understand are actions and words are just a guess) about hunting down someone that we know has a gun. He pulls over somewhere not near our apartment, in case the Rabbit locates us, looking for revenge. We get out of the car to have a look and, yes, there are two bullet holes in the side of the car, one of them right in the passenger door beside the rear-view mirror.

At this time didn't know how to speak Spanish or how to take a photo, so yeah, that's my finger

The whole experience left me thrilled. I just thought it was awesome. Other near-death (or near-danger) experiences I'd later have in Mexico left me thinking "No, that was not cool" but this one I was crazy about. In fact, when I got home that night I got out my yet-to-be-mailed letter home for that week and wrote across the sealed envelope, in red ink, of all things, "MOM-Just got shot at, will tell you more next week!" without any thought to the anxiety that incomplete bit of news might cause at the home office during the week before the follow up would arrive.

*How did I spend my second Mexican Independence Day in Mexico? At a church party where they had a cock fight in the gym. I said to the person I was standing by (at this point I could speak Spanish) "Can you believe they're having a cock fight? In the CHURCH?" and they responded: "I know! Isn't it great?"

I Went Went, Back Back, to Cali Cali, pt. 3

So, yeah, while I was in LA it was real hot

Monday for lunch Greg and I went to pick up Grandma a burger, but on the way we had two other lunches in Alhambra.

Turning off Santa Anita onto Las Tunas I saw Los Tacos sitting like it always has and asked Greg if he'd ever been and he said no and, so, into the the parking lot we turned.

Since we weren't out to totally overdo it, we split a plate of 4 tacos. Under all the cilantro and onion you'll find a steak taco, a carnitas taco, a taco al pastor, and a chicken mole taco. All very nice.

Then, after Las Tunas had turned into Main, we drove by Dog Haus, which Greg had already told me was good, so into the parking lot we turned. We split one of their Thai currywursts.

In Alhambra there's this over the top Heavy Metal-themed burger place called Grill 'Em All. It's a little famous, but the menu is (at first glance) a little too over the top for me, but Grandma calls it "Grill 'Ems" and that was too cute for me to not want to go get her a burger.

I had the sausage-gravy doused, bacon-topped, maple-infused Molly Hatchet burger. Greg had the Samoa Joe with pineapple. We brought Grandma home the straight-forward, California style Winger (a.k.a. "the Stewart). From the bite I stole of that one I can definitely say it was the best one. Mine and Greg's were fine, but like I said, just kinda too over the top for my tastes.

Like the food, I'm half in, half out on the branding. 

Driving back to Grandma's you could really see this San Gabriel mountain fire happening big time. 

It was a very San Marino/Alhambra day that day. I took some end of day photos in the backyard at the end of the day.

After the day ended, I finished the day with a visit to Pepe's with Collin (fresh from his basketball game) and then a whole lot of Uncharted at Greg's house.

Now here's a surprise you might not have been expecting! Mom flew out on Tuesday to help take care of Grandma. And I say "help take care of Grandma" because I haven't yet mentioned that the day before I went to California, Grandma broke her shoulder. And while I was doing a pretty good job of bringing her burgers, we all know Mom would do a better job at some of the other aspects of taking care of Grandma. But before going to Grandma's we met Collin for lunch on the Disney lot.

That night Collin had tickets to the big Hollywood red carpet premiere of the BFG. I had never been to a big Hollywood premiere before. After checking in and picking up my pass I thought for sure I'd be filed off to some non-VIP line but, nope, I walked the red carpet, passing Steven Spielberg on the way. The red carpet, pre-party, and premiere were packed with kids and tweens that I assumed were the children of Hollywood people but later found out were all Disney Channel stars and Vine sensations or teens with 3 million Instagram followers. Oops! Who's the old guy? It's me!

I liked the movie and recommend it to anyone who wants to watch a CGI Grandpa Barnes. After it ended I told Jermaine Clement that it was a good movie and he told me "Aw, cheers mate."

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I Went Went, Back Back, to Cali Cali pt. 2

Slow Saturday day. I double-dip into LA burgers with a lunchtime trip to Tommy's and In n Out.

In n Out Secret Menu suggestion: "the Briggie"--Double Double, animal style, add pickles and raw onion, hold the lettuce and tomato. Finally, something good from In n Out

Somedays I'll take a Tommy's chiliburger over In n Out anyday

Saturday night I went down to Hollywood for a comedy show that turned out to be, err, pretty not funny BUT Milana Vayntrub (a.k.a. Lily from the AT&T ads) was one of the joke/story tellers so that was kinda cool.

Dipped into a show opening at a gallery before the jokes

The idea of the show was that it was comedians and their best friends telling stories, that's why there's always two people in these pictures. The secret idea of the show was that it was comedians and their friends telling stories without having planned at all what they would say.

Maybe I found a tattoo idea?

Finished off the night with too many tacos at Leo's and a run across the street to try the tacos at Super Gallito

See that guy on the right? Listening to him order tacos was like listening to a poem. I guess you have to take my word for it.

One of the best things about Leo's Tacos is how close it is to SK's Donuts. 

Sunday I drove down to Dana Point to hear Cher give a Father's Day talk at her church and then we ate salads on a lawn overlooking the ocean. That's how I like my beaches to be: lawns.

It was a little windy for an umbrella

Like I said, a little windy

Look at all those sandy suckers

Miscellaneous Orange county charm

Then we drove to San Juan Capistrano for a field trip to the Mission. It was old and rocky and had lots of bells. Also: Very bright and sunny and hot. I got a spectacular forearm sunburn.

Hot as heck but happy I called it an Orange County day and headed back up for San Marino. I was cruising along nicely, approaching Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim stadium when Grandma's car stopped working...pressing the gas, there just wasn't any action. But I had the momentum to cruise to the side of the freeway and even down an off-ramp a bit. BUT thanks to the power of OnStar all I had to do was press a button and then wait FOUR HOURS for a tow truck. FOUR HOURS. I had a book, though. And my camera. And could even see the Disneyland fireworks around hour 3.5. So it could have been worse?

Tow truck trick of the trade: When making your customer wait 4 hours for your services, send the friendliest and most helpful guy you've got, so the customer has to stop being mad and starts being appreciative.